Archive for November, 2012
I’ve been debating whether or not I want to do this, and how I want to say this for the last week or so, but I’ve decided to give blogging a break. I love the blogging community that I have garnered in the last couple of years and I hate to be less of a participant on the web, but I think it may be necessary.
At the beginning of this summer I broke up with my boyfriend. We weren’t together for all that long, only two years, but it was still a painful break-up. Aren’t they all? And maybe it would have been easier if things had soured between us, or I was angry, or bitter, but that didn’t happen and I’m none of those things. I’m just sad. So, this summer I allowed myself the coping mechanism of not thinking overly about what had happened and pushed myself to just keep doing things. Work multiple jobs, take classes, hang out with friends. Be ever busy. And now I’m exhausted. I’ve run the race with my pants on fire and I’ve ploughed into the earth like a falling comet turns into a meteorite As I lay here on the scorched earth of my summer, the stars shine somewhere above the city lights where I can’t see them, . . . . and then I realize that I’m talking in metaphors like my sister does and I hate it and this just doubly means I need a break.
But mostly I need to give myself a break. A break form doing everything perfect, a break from this box of a flow chart of where my life is supposed to be right now (especially because it is upsetting that it isn’t), and a break from disappointing people. I’m much better at forgiving other people than myself. Except people who stand on the left side of the escalator, you all are going to HELLLLLLLL.
Anyway. My plan is that I will be absent from posting for most of November and will try to come back at the beginning of December with new and delightful tidbits. I don’t know yet if I will even log onto WordPress and continue to browse through Reader and comment on other people’s postings. When trying to put a boundary on time management problems I tend to be all or nothing. But we’ll see, I do love reading all of your blogs. They give me such delight. Lives change, they move forward, or sideways or in ways we never expected and sometimes priorities shift for a time. Like a sideways elevator that gets attacked by zombies and starts to. . . . oh wait, I’m doing it again.
P.S. No, this posting is not in response to the news that the Star Wars franchise was bought out by Disney. Just so the record is clear.
When I was growing up my parents believed Halloween was the devil’s holiday and we were not allowed to go trick-or-treating. I remember sitting in our darkened living room as we ignored people who came up to our door and rang the doorbell. When we got older we went to churches that had Harvest Parties where we got to dress up, bob for apples, and get candy bags. I’m really good at bobbing for apples, FYI. The trick is taking a deep breath, pushing the apple to the bottom, and grabbing it with your teeth. Then last year when my rent-a-kid was two years old her parents took her trick or treating and I tagged along. Even though it was raining and we went to two houses I had a blast and this year I invited myself to go along again. Mostly because I had an awesome costume in mind and I needed some place to wear it.
My rent-a-kid is awesome and having recently watched Gumby she decided to go as the titular character. It was amazing. Although afraid of some of the blinking light up eyes in neighbor’s yards, she had a grand time trick-or-treating and so did I. This year we went to eight places and I got a piece of candy myself. It was fantastic. I like that the neighborhood stores, such as the dog care place, cafe, and even the currency exchange, handed out candy. We met Hello Kitty, several comic book superheroes, and a cow complete with udders (this is really a repetitive statement since cows have udders and steers/bulls do not, but people never seem to remember that the male bovine is called something different).
I’m most proud of my mask which I painted, glued, and feathered myself. I was also super excited to have an excuse to buy a hot glue gun and use it! I need more glue gun projects, I love those things. The design for the mask was inspired by my re-purposed bridesmaids dress and the butterfly wings I got at a local shop, lacy black tights, a leotard, and grey boots completed my ensemble, plus with the added layers I could walk around without my coat on for the few minutes we were outside trick-or-treating. Being Gumby’s fairy godmother rocked. (Sorry my photos aren’t the best, I’ve a crappy camera phone.)