Thirty Days of Thankful: Spam Mail

Spam Mail

For some reason, my One Thousand Posts and Counting post gets THE MOST SPAM EVER! Which is actually awesome, I love spam.

Occasionally a real commenter gets into my spam account, so I have to fish them out, drag them through the door of communication and drop them like something the cat dragged in, sopping wet, give them a shake, wait while they dry off, and then treat them like the real live mouse the cat decided to bring in and toy with. Or something like that. I’m not real good with metaphors? similes?

Here is how my spam reading goes:

Video Conference: I do not know…

Me: Blah blah. No, you don not know anything. You do not know you made it into my spam folder. You do not know you will now be deleted.

Homepage: … [trackback]

Homepage:…[trackback]

Me: Someone is determined to look like a trackback, even though that is totally NOT how my homepage trackbacks look like. Nice try though. Actually that isn’t. That is a really bad try. I should take up hacking, I would be much better at it. . . how much do hackers make again?

[Japanese writing]: Brown mascara, green colored mascara and brown mascara are alabama
unexpected eye-poppers. PS: please can Suri Cruise get a cameo too,
Mrs Prada! Contained is a extractible, buckled make strap.
Celine series include Dress,Skirt,Designer Shoes,High heels, Purses and so on
the subject of.

Me: That doesn’t. What? Make sense. Why would Suri Cruise get a cameo on a beauty commercial? Isn’t she like five and isn’t her mother against make up? Or something like that.

Three “comments” in a row, all in Japanese. Google Translate asks if I want to know what the spammers are trying to tell me. I do not want to know Google. I’m pretty sure they are all just jealous of Will Smith’s daughter and her hair, or something like that.

Little Mermaid Tattoos 2 Sheets | MedPlus4all.COM: […] Nodds & Nends: Skull Sheets, Tattoos, and Improv Class | Absurdly … […]

Me: Ooh! Clever robot, you found a word and you replicated it a bunch of times. And you added Little Mermaid. Which is really clever because I do have a LOT of Disney posts. I can’t help myself! But I’m pretty share some MedPlus4all is just going to lead me to a bunch of genitalia and that usually leads to viruses.

I do love spam. I get to be all clever in my head. At a computer robot, because that is the life peeps!

But I especially love spam that gets through my robotic spam protector that lives inside my computer because then I go, AH HA! I caught something the robot did not, as of now, I’m not obsolete……. I can totally catch spam going to a blog that about fifty people read…….. Yay?

Peeps, you are totally awesome, my lack of blogging schedule is totes to blame for numbers dropping. But I don’t blog for the numbers. No sir, I blog for the spammers.

About these ads

2 thoughts on “Thirty Days of Thankful: Spam Mail

Leave your own absurd thought

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s