Television Review: Warehouse Weekend: Insatiable Flesh Eaters

OK. I know, I know it is not the weekend any longer. But I did most of this post this weekend, finished it really late, and set it up to go out today. So forgive the misnomer, but Warehouse Monday does not have the same ring to it. And since I did the viewing and the writing on the weekend, it’s most a weekend post. “Insatiable” was back to the old Warehouse monster of the week format, setting aside most of the larger story arc and concentrating on finding the particular artifact causing pings. Artie sends Myka and Pete out after the artifact, Claudia is taking some days off, and Leena is beefing up the warehouse security. Myka and Pete find a man eating a freshly killed deer and Pete is convinced they are dealing with zombies. This show just got awesome! A fun episode about an artifact that isn’t so interesting, but does cause interesting side effects. Myka and Pete are up to their old antics, dramatics, and histrionics. It made for a fun and funny show, with a side dose of gravity and soul. Once again, Warehouse 13 packs a punch.

The episode starts out with a couple making out. This seems to be the intro to the show more than once. Frankly, it is getting a little tired and used. The couple hears something in the bushes, and now the episode takes off! The guy stops making out even though the girl pulls off her shirt and goes to investigate the sounds. Something chases him, scratches him, and then attacks the girl.

At the Warehouse Artie is telling the crew that Jane left and there is nothing to do for her. Security has  been tripled, the regents are handling the threat. It is time for the agents to do their job and track down a ping in Ithica, NY. Leena is rechecking the security system and Claudia is away getting some needed R&R. In fact, Claudia is at the coffee house at open mike, since Allison Scagliotti has an excellent singing voice they keep putting her on stage, and that is fine with me. A cute boy comes up and talks to her, he’s a lead singer of a band and wants Claudia to join the band. Claudia is so excited over the cute boy and the undercurrent of sexual tension she calls Jinksy’s cell phone and leaves him yet another message.

Myka and Pete head to the hospital in Ithica, NY and speak to the make out couple. The guy is in bad shape and the girl has been bitten. It is obviously a human bite mark, on her neck. ::shudder:: I hate when things touch my neck, if someone bit me on the neck like that I think I would rip off their head instinctively and literally. Pete says it must be a werewolf or vampire, Myka thinks he is joking. Pete points out that fairy tales often have a kernel of truth, so maybe the stuff about vampires and werewolves is true too. Myka just shakes her head and suggests they head out to lovers lane. Pete says, “OK. But I only go to third base.” Ah Pete, your levity in the situation is delightful. And naughty.They do indeed head out to lovers lane and investigate some weird noises which turns out to be a man eating a deer, and not the yummy cooked kind of meat. Pete is convinced he is a zombie, Myka disagrees. The man sits there shivering a bit and then attacks them. Myka tesla’s him and they take the deer eating man to the hospital.

At the hospital Myka and Pete call Artie on the Farnsworth. Artie says that Zombies do exist, but only in the topical sense. So in fact, Myka and Pete were both right. The man from the woods has frost bite. Artie tells Myka and Pete to keep the man restrained while he is headed on his way to the hospital and he will get Claudia to do some research. Claudia receives a call from Jinks who disappoints her by telling her not to call again and that they are not BFFs. They are nothing. I know that Claudia and Jinks spent time hunting artifacts, but I wouldn’t say they are BFFs. Not so sure why Claudia seems to think they are. Maybe it’s the writers fault, but I never saw them has having an awesome friendship. Starting one, sure, but not quite there yet. After speaking with Jinks, Claudia passes a fortune tellers box which spits out a card that she is going to die. Right afterward Claudia almost gets smooshed by a falling artifact and is understandably freaked. Is that the fortune teller box from Big? Because that would be awesome. Great movie, FYI.

Zoltar from “Big”
Screen Still from Big

Pete and Myka head to the address of the zombie to check his place out. They hear someone in the closet. It’s a boy, the zombie’s son. They take him back to the hospital where Artie tells them that the infection is spreading. Myka and Pete head back out and leave the kid with Artie. Myka and Pete go to the latest place where a break out occurred, a frat house. Pete notices a lot of taco wrappers on the floor and gets hungry. Myka just looks at him. I’ve a feeling that the taco wrappers mean more than Pete hunger mode. Frat guy is in the basement eating a rat and shivering. A scuffle ensues and Pete gets bitten. Pete is of course worried that he will become a zombie. But the crew figures out that the zombification happens in stages, sensitivity to light, getting cold, yellow breath, eating everything, and then trying to bite people. So they figure Pete has some time, but they need to find the artifact soon. I have a feeling the biting is not a way to spread the disease, the girl was bitten and she didn’t seem to be all that infected or affected. Though Pete as a zombie, not gonna lie, would be pretty cool. Pete gets hungry and gets a taco from the taco stand (this cannot be coincidence), he has Myka pay. She is worried is zombie hungry, but he assures her he is just Pete hungry.

At the hospital Artie tries to talk to the kid. A nurse comes in to the room and comments on how the guy keeps going through IV bags (though there are several mostly full ones still hooked up. So WHAT? Bad editing people, bad editing.) The nurse says that the blood work does not sure any sign of infection, it is a complete mystery. Plus the zombie’s temperature keeps dropping, at some point his organs will fail. I horribly wonder if this will make it easier to harvest his organs and donate them. But that’s me. I think like that. I’d apologize, but really can’t help how my brain works. Artie talks to Claudia, who has been dodging accidents, but she has little to no news, the system is acting sluggish. After hanging up with Artie, Claudia gets a call from Leena that the cute boy is at the Bed & Breakfast. Claudia hurries over there and tries to reassure cute boy she didn’t blow off band practice, she just had work to do. An electrical outage occurs and some how a light falls (don’t see how this is possibly, outages do not really cause objects to fall necessarily, but OK whatever) and Claudia freaks she is putting cute boy in danger and flees the Bed and Breakfast.

Artie puts glasses on the dude, glasses with purples lenses, that presumably have anti-artifact juju. Artie questions the nurse, who remarks on the recovery of the zombie, she tells him that the couple from the woods is fine and left the hospital. So indeed, infection not spread through the bite. Totally called that one. The zombie escapes just as Myka and Pete arrive at the hospital. Myka freezes (pun intended) and Pete tesla’s the zombie. So, the infection spreads, not through biting, and has not spread to Myka. Pete tries to figure out what Myka did that he didn’t do. This has to do with the tacos, maybe the dude at the stand had something on him? Myka handed him money. That is really the only thing I can think that she did different than Pete. Artie talks to the kid, we need your help. The kid thinks Artie wants his “magic glasses” back, but actually Arite is looking for a time line. The kid says that his dad got cold after eating dinner, which, you guessed it, was tacos. Ok, so I definitely called that one also. Gee, I’m good. Myk and Pete head back to the taco truck. They talk about having to put the other person “down” if the artifact does change them into zombies. It’s a sweet, touching, if kind of weird moment for the two of them.

Claudia meanwhile is trying to figure out if she is going to die. She keeps pressing for a new fortune, and keeps getting horrible ones. Even after spraying the fortune box with purple goo, an artifact drips on Claudia and tries to drown her. Leena notices an artifact has been activated and rescues Claudia. Leena then explains to Claudia that it is not a fortune teller, but a hypnotist. The only way to get the box to quit is to actively ignore him. At the taco truck Myka attacks Pete in the van before they can question the taco stand dude. Pete pushes Myka out the door before she can gnaw on him. He calls up Claudia and gets her to turn on the area lights really bright. This stops Myka and the construction worker zombies and Pete runs to the taco truck where he demands to be let in. Pete discovers that the tip jar was found by the taco dude, and even though he is not supposed to, he destroys the tip jar instead of bagging it, since he doesn’t have bags on him. Everyone is OK. Artie explains that in the winter of 1846 (I think I got that right) a group of people were stranded in a blizzard of some sort and resorted to cannibalism to survive. In spite of their dire circumstances they would still put money in a jar and bury it. Giving the guy a tip, and putting the money in the jar, activated the artifact making everyone cold and hungry for flesh (so zombies sort of).

Sha-la-la-la-la-la, You wanna Keess dee girl
Screen Still from Warehouse 13

Pete invites everyone out to an all you can eat diner for dinner. Claudia goes to the open mic coffee house (do they have open mic every night? WTF) and sees cute boy playing. She tells him that this week has been a warning label, that her life if complicated, and then she kisses him. ::Squee:: It was a great, Claudia takes charge of life moment. It was also a great on-screen kiss. Claudia texts Jinks, who picks up his phone and smiles at her comment. So, he indeed does care about Claudia. Why is he telling her off? Well, I think the next part clarifies that to some extent. Jinks can’t pay his bill because his credit card has been declined. Marcus, the bad guy, shows up in the nick of time and pays it off. Jinks acts like he doesn’t want to talk to him, but gets “persuaded” by Marcus’ rhetoric that they are just defending themselves. Jinks pulls out a stool. T His leads me to believe that myself and others who review and watch the show are right about Jinks being on secret assignment from Mrs. F to infiltrate the bad guys group. So, we’ll see!!

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