I’ve been debating whether or not I want to do this, and how I want to say this for the last week or so, but I’ve decided to give blogging a break. I love the blogging community that I have garnered in the last couple of years and I hate to be less of a participant on the web, but I think it may be necessary.
At the beginning of this summer I broke up with my boyfriend. We weren’t together for all that long, only two years, but it was still a painful break-up. Aren’t they all? And maybe it would have been easier if things had soured between us, or I was angry, or bitter, but that didn’t happen and I’m none of those things. I’m just sad. So, this summer I allowed myself the coping mechanism of not thinking overly about what had happened and pushed myself to just keep doing things. Work multiple jobs, take classes, hang out with friends. Be ever busy. And now I’m exhausted. I’ve run the race with my pants on fire and I’ve ploughed into the earth like a falling comet turns into a meteorite As I lay here on the scorched earth of my summer, the stars shine somewhere above the city lights where I can’t see them, . . . . and then I realize that I’m talking in metaphors like my sister does and I hate it and this just doubly means I need a break.
But mostly I need to give myself a break. A break form doing everything perfect, a break from this box of a flow chart of where my life is supposed to be right now (especially because it is upsetting that it isn’t), and a break from disappointing people. I’m much better at forgiving other people than myself. Except people who stand on the left side of the escalator, you all are going to HELLLLLLLL.
Anyway. My plan is that I will be absent from posting for most of November and will try to come back at the beginning of December with new and delightful tidbits. I don’t know yet if I will even log onto WordPress and continue to browse through Reader and comment on other people’s postings. When trying to put a boundary on time management problems I tend to be all or nothing. But we’ll see, I do love reading all of your blogs. They give me such delight. Lives change, they move forward, or sideways or in ways we never expected and sometimes priorities shift for a time. Like a sideways elevator that gets attacked by zombies and starts to. . . . oh wait, I’m doing it again.
P.S. No, this posting is not in response to the news that the Star Wars franchise was bought out by Disney. Just so the record is clear.