Medieval Times in Chicago

At the early part of spring some friends and I decided to head off to Medieval Times here in Chicago to have something fun to do while snow still slushed on the ground and because we got some really cheap tickets. It was a lot of fun, even if there were crowds, and I had to hold onto my date’s shirt to keep from having a panic attack.


We watched people get knighted as we sipped beers from 3D lenticular glasses. There were some interesting weaponry on the wall and before the actual show began we went through this little cave of horrors which featured torture devices from medieval times. There were a lot of breast and nipple torturing going on back then apparently. ::shudder:: The horses were also on display, but as I grew up on a farm where I could pet and ride horses, looking at a couple of docile creatures behind bars was not exactly the most thrilling thing in the world.

The show ended up being a lot of fun. While the food was only OK (the roasted chicken was actually pretty good and the desert was my favorite), I really liked seeing how well the animals were trained. The horses performed a dressage act which was exceptionally cool. It was like a dance . . . for horses. Totally awesome. I also enjoyed the falconry. Though I wish the hawk (I think it was a hawk) had flown over our area of the stadium. Next came the competition, jousting, and weaponry fighting. Personally I liked the competition part best because the men were actually competing at that point while the rest of the act was, of course, staged -because danger and weapons.

Medieval Times

My friend Teaira and I.

We were cheering for the Green Knight, who was definitely the prettiest of the candidates. So score for us. However, he lost his jousting match and then lost the weaponry fight, and he was the first to go out. So…. basically, he lost all of his pretty brownie points in one fell swoop.

One frustrating thing was that the show is definitely geared toward families with children. For example, the fighting was very clean, they “fell” of the horses easily. I get that they don’t want the fighting to actually look real because it might scare children, but I personally would have liked it if the stage fighting had been a little more realistic looking. Also, we sat next to a family with two really young kids, and it was hard in the heat of the moment when our knight lost RIGHT AWAY and I wanted to perhaps scream some four letter words I just screamed out MOTHER…. instead. My date had to turn his Bull Shit into Baloney. But in the end it was aΒ really fun time. I recommend going, especially if you can get a discount on tickets.

Also, it makes for a really great first date. Fun times, dark arena, holding hands, all good. My boyfriend and I agree that this was our first date, after I explained to him that getting pizza for lunch really didn’t count as a date. In my book, there at least has to be hand holding for it to count.


4 thoughts on “Medieval Times in Chicago

  1. I must have missed a post – or was it mentioned on one of the Doctor Who theory posts that I avidly avoid on the internet – but where did the boyfriend come from? Does he sell doughnuts? I think we need to know πŸ˜‰

    • I’ve mentioned him a few times, even from before we started dating, but I haven’t put everything together yet. Perhaps I shall. I have to mull over how I want that post to go….

  2. OMG! I did this with Aidan and we had SO much fun as well! I was absolutely jumping up and down/screaming..we had the red knight and the best looking one by far as well..he was a total ham and it was awesome! We still have the flags..and we totally would go back!

    • It was great fun! I’m really glad we went. Knowing how the show goes now I do think it would be fun to go with my nieces and watch them enjoy it. (My nephew is a little too young, being five months old.)

Leave your own absurd thought

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s