30 Days of Thankful: The Finish Line and Finding Love

Wowza, folks, 30 posts on being Thankful. (I think, maybe I should double check that. Yep, this is post 30.) Here I am at the finish line of my challenge, and I’m super grateful I put myself through this exercise. I wont lie, I had a panic attach just this morning, but they are fewer and the length between each attack is longer. I believe it is because I set about to start seeing the good in each day (even if I didn’t necessarily write it down), and I began to find the funny, the wonder, the magic, in many of the parts of my life.

The person who helps me find the good in life the most is Chris. One year ago today I picked up my phone while I was lying on my friend’s couch in Chicago, and started sending out mass texts to friends wishing them a Happy New Year. I have this thing, that when I wake up, I’m awake. Especially if cats are trying to sleep on my head and it’s a holiday and I could be sleeping in. So, while my friends slept, I texted. As I was going through the contacts in my phone I found Chris N. and for the life of me I could not figure out who it was. I checked back through old text messages and realized it was my brother-in-law’s friend that I had met in November when I helped my family move to Texas. I shrugged my shoulders and sent him a greeting as well.

And that was the beginning and the end of so many things. The beginning of sustained happiness and joy, the end of loneliness. The beginning of love and hope, the end of trying to make all things happen on my own. We texted, soon we were talking on the phone, and three months later Chris came to visit me and that was another beginning.

Chris is my favorite person in the world. I tell him that every day. Sometimes to remind myself, to not take for granted the wonderful person his is. How he is always taking care of me, emotionally, sometimes physically. Like the time I fell to my knees throwing my arms over my head because I thought we were being bombed. I maybe had a bit too much to drink, and perhaps had taken to heart subconsciously all the worries of his aunt about the nearby naval base. Chris turned to his cousin who had popped out of a doorway, on purpose to scare me, and said, “I just got her standing!”

But he picked me up again, set me on my course, and watched, a bit anxiously, as I literally had to hold my mouth shut with my hand in between sips of water, so I wouldn’t say anything I shouldn’t outside on the veranda talking with his relatives.

One evening I came home to him sitting in the rocking chair, his knees spread out, his cap with horns on his head looking smug and for all the world a viking. With the medals around his neck swinging, he pointed to the left and, after some bouts of laughter, I looked at saw a print of The Butler, matted, framed, and mounted on the wall. I lost my first print of that particular painting moving to Texas, and bemoaned the loss of the centerpiece of my living room decorations. Forgoing his own desire of another, print and frame, he bought the one that he knew would make me happy.

I’m thankful for Chris because he makes me happy by being himself. He is goofy, thoughtful, and he can reach things off the top of the grocery shelf. I’m thankful he is mine and I am his and he will string up holiday lights even though he hates Christmas. I love him very much and I’m looking forward to knowing him another year in 2014

Happy New Years everyone!!!

chris and i 2

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