Static Electricity and Kissing Patients

Conrad von Soest, 'Brillenapostel' (1403).jpg

Tuesday, I finally went and got my eyes checked and my prescription renewed. This has been a long time coming. My only excuse is that moving twice in two years makes everything harder, especially keeping up with doctor’s appointments. I met the doctor who was a short guy with warm brown skin, dark hair, and an eye nerd of the first order. I mean huge eye nerd. He could not stop talking about how much he enjoyed what he did. Which is great!

I shook his hand in introduction and static electricity, that seems permanently stored in my body, zinged between us.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to zap you!” He said.

“It was probably me. ” I explained. “I seem to store static electricity somehow.”

“My 96 year old patient kissed me on the lips the other day, and I think both of us were charged with static, and I told him, ‘I think I saw sparks!'”

I really did not know how to respond to this. “…..Wow. Yah, that’s strange.” I ventured.

“Well, you know how it goes, sometimes they are going for the cheek and they get your lips.”

A reasonable explanation, but I still really do not understand this conversation, or what to say next. “I guess… that’s true.”

“Yah, kiddos, what can you do? My seven year old is not so affectionate any more, but my six year old is.” He explained.

Realization dawned. He said his kiddo kissed him on the lips, not his patient. That “you know how it goes” was really “you know kiddos.”

I knew I was about to laugh uncontrollably, but managed to blurt out, “Oh, you said your six year old kid. I thought you said your 96 year old patient and I was really confused why patients were kissing you!”

“Oh my! Yes, that would be strange.” He agreed.

I chuckled. “Maybe I need to see an ear doctor today as well!”

“I can look and see if there is one in this building.” He offered. He smiled, laughed, and continued, “This is probably the funniest conversation I’ve had all week!”

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