Spam Mail Part 3: Guilt Trips, Generating Income, and Spambots

Heyoo, it’s been a time and half, four score, and a month of Sundays since I wrote last. . . . or something like that. I thought I would get back into the game with one of my favorite things, making fun of spam mail!

I love making fun of horribly written spam mail and, as I know at least one person who believes everything she reads and can’t distinguish what is spam from proper email, I think it is educational too.  A PSA to the masses if you will, why this is spam (watch for links and bad writing), how to react to spam (delete it), and why it makes for a great post (because I’m hilarious 😉 ).

Apparently I will never start my day right.

oo4.biz: Start your day right with famous Bible quotes and let the app quench your thirst for spiritual enlightenment.

Me: Unsolicited religious guilt, . . . yah. . .#KTHXBAI 

Me: Delete

The hallmark of spam- guilt trips and asking for more work because you can never do enough to please the spambots.

online movies for kids: Superb post however , I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this subject? I’d be very grateful if you could elaborate a little bit further. Appreciate it!

Me:  Great feedback, but I was wondering if you could learn how to spell better. It is “little” not “litte.”

Me: P.S. The backhanded compliment doesn’t work on anyone who has learned some self respect.

Me: P.P.S. I know as you are a spambot and try to backhand compliment people and you have no clue what the word respect means, so let me enlighten you.

Merriam-Webster defines respect as : a feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious, etc., and should be treated in an appropriate way. (emphasis added)

Me: P.P.P.S. In case it wasn’t clear backhanded compliments are not an appropriate way to treat anyone.

Did you know there is a website called the BroBible (no I will not link to such a site and give them even more clicks) that has a whole article on how to give backhanded compliments? Because there aren’t enough horrible people in this world without websites like this creating more of them or helping them fine tune their ability to make the world just a little more awful.

Real quote from the article : Now it’s time to go in for the kill with the backhanded part of your backhanded compliment, aka the best part. (emphasis added)

UGH!!!!! This is not treating people in an appropriate way!

Delete, delete, delete!

Now,  let’s move off topic.

Penni Dey: Greetings! Actually, I know this really is rather off-topic but I wanted to ask. Does doing a well-established web page such as the one you have obtain a lots of employment? I’m new for you to blogging and site-building nonetheless I perform generate within my publication day-to-day. I’d choose to begin a blogging site so we could reveal my own practical experience as well as feelings on-line. Remember to identify for people with each and every suggestions or perhaps methods for innovative aspiring people. Thankyou!

Me: Greetings! This is off topic and actually, my not very well established blog does not generate any income for me, let alone enough to “obtain” lots of employment. However, if it did and those employees wrote as poorly as you do, they would not be employed much longer! But you are a spam and your employer does not care how poorly written your work is, consider yourself very lucky!

This was slightly depressing. Does not generate income is not a sentence I like to write.

print marketing definition: In fact perhaps you’ve gone on and completed some other
tutorials, on flyers or logo design!

Me: In fact, I have not gone on to complete other tutorials on flyers or logo designs. Maybe this is why my blog does not generate income. I need to start randomly designing flyers and logos and with no marketing or graphic design background this is sure to succeed!

Me: P.S. The original post was not a tutorial, it did not have a flyer nor a logo. Spambot fail.

Again, apparently I am failing at life because I cannot do design work and my blog is not generating income. Maybe this email about pets will cheer me up.

http://ajn.me: Your pet would possibly confuse ammonia with its own urine,
and surely it would create a vicious circle involving your carpet
and the pet’s urine.

Me: Wait, your name is a URL? This isn’t supposed to be suspicious? But yes, you are correct, a pet can confuse ammonia with its own urine. I don’t understand what this has to do with carpets? Are people cleaning their carpets with ammoniaYes, they are . Ok spambot, you make an important point, if you have an animal cleaning the urine stains on the carpet with ammonia is not a good idea.

But, remember my first two questions?  When the name is a URL it is time to delete!

Final PSA: A spambot with a good point does not make it not a spambot!

 

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One thought on “Spam Mail Part 3: Guilt Trips, Generating Income, and Spambots

  1. Pingback: Nodds & Nends: Wacky Inventions, Diverse Casts in Kids Books, and Spamming the Spammers | Absurdly Nerdly

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