Nodds & Nends: Wacky Inventions, Diverse Casts in Kids Books, and Spamming the Spammers

It’s time, another Nodds & Nends, some Nerdy Odds and Ends on the internets that will hopefully make your day a little brighter.

Want to see some crazy things people have invented over the years? Check out this The Daily Buzz article, Wacky Inventions That Never Stood A Chance that was reposted by George Takei on his Facebook page.

I really really need those skates.

Photo Credit: cracktwo

I really love reading the articles on The Book Wars blog. I was especially delighted with this list of children’s pictures books centered around the theme of dance that also have a diverse cast of characters. Read the article by Jane Whittingham Five Finds Lets Dance here.

I follow Misty Copeland on Instagram and was delighted to see that there is a picture book about her journey to be come a soloist with the American Ballet Theater. Awesome!

Firebird by Misty Copeland

My most recent favorite find on the internets is the video about a guy who likes to respond to spam/scam emails until the spammer/scammer gives up and tells him to stop email them. Posted by Mashable this guy’s video about trying to get a toaster is hilarious!

When I shared this on my personal Facebook page a friend replied with an newspaper article from the Boston Globe that is along the same lines, The Spam Victim Strikes Back! By Mark Pothier. I giggled for a long time. 

I like to make fun of spammers as is evident by my posts Spam Mail, Spam Mail Part 2, and Spam Mail Part 3, but I do not actually engage with them in real life, just inside my head.

Happy 4th of July!

(Couldn’t help it, I love Bitmoji)

Spam Mail Part 3: Guilt Trips, Generating Income, and Spambots

Heyoo, it’s been a time and half, four score, and a month of Sundays since I wrote last. . . . or something like that. I thought I would get back into the game with one of my favorite things, making fun of spam mail!

I love making fun of horribly written spam mail and, as I know at least one person who believes everything she reads and can’t distinguish what is spam from proper email, I think it is educational too.  A PSA to the masses if you will, why this is spam (watch for links and bad writing), how to react to spam (delete it), and why it makes for a great post (because I’m hilarious 😉 ).

Apparently I will never start my day right.

oo4.biz: Start your day right with famous Bible quotes and let the app quench your thirst for spiritual enlightenment.

Me: Unsolicited religious guilt, . . . yah. . .#KTHXBAI 

Me: Delete

The hallmark of spam- guilt trips and asking for more work because you can never do enough to please the spambots.

online movies for kids: Superb post however , I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this subject? I’d be very grateful if you could elaborate a little bit further. Appreciate it!

Me:  Great feedback, but I was wondering if you could learn how to spell better. It is “little” not “litte.”

Me: P.S. The backhanded compliment doesn’t work on anyone who has learned some self respect.

Me: P.P.S. I know as you are a spambot and try to backhand compliment people and you have no clue what the word respect means, so let me enlighten you.

Merriam-Webster defines respect as : a feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious, etc., and should be treated in an appropriate way. (emphasis added)

Me: P.P.P.S. In case it wasn’t clear backhanded compliments are not an appropriate way to treat anyone.

Did you know there is a website called the BroBible (no I will not link to such a site and give them even more clicks) that has a whole article on how to give backhanded compliments? Because there aren’t enough horrible people in this world without websites like this creating more of them or helping them fine tune their ability to make the world just a little more awful.

Real quote from the article : Now it’s time to go in for the kill with the backhanded part of your backhanded compliment, aka the best part. (emphasis added)

UGH!!!!! This is not treating people in an appropriate way!

Delete, delete, delete!

Now,  let’s move off topic.

Penni Dey: Greetings! Actually, I know this really is rather off-topic but I wanted to ask. Does doing a well-established web page such as the one you have obtain a lots of employment? I’m new for you to blogging and site-building nonetheless I perform generate within my publication day-to-day. I’d choose to begin a blogging site so we could reveal my own practical experience as well as feelings on-line. Remember to identify for people with each and every suggestions or perhaps methods for innovative aspiring people. Thankyou!

Me: Greetings! This is off topic and actually, my not very well established blog does not generate any income for me, let alone enough to “obtain” lots of employment. However, if it did and those employees wrote as poorly as you do, they would not be employed much longer! But you are a spam and your employer does not care how poorly written your work is, consider yourself very lucky!

This was slightly depressing. Does not generate income is not a sentence I like to write.

print marketing definition: In fact perhaps you’ve gone on and completed some other
tutorials, on flyers or logo design!

Me: In fact, I have not gone on to complete other tutorials on flyers or logo designs. Maybe this is why my blog does not generate income. I need to start randomly designing flyers and logos and with no marketing or graphic design background this is sure to succeed!

Me: P.S. The original post was not a tutorial, it did not have a flyer nor a logo. Spambot fail.

Again, apparently I am failing at life because I cannot do design work and my blog is not generating income. Maybe this email about pets will cheer me up.

http://ajn.me: Your pet would possibly confuse ammonia with its own urine,
and surely it would create a vicious circle involving your carpet
and the pet’s urine.

Me: Wait, your name is a URL? This isn’t supposed to be suspicious? But yes, you are correct, a pet can confuse ammonia with its own urine. I don’t understand what this has to do with carpets? Are people cleaning their carpets with ammonia? Yes, they are . Ok spambot, you make an important point, if you have an animal cleaning the urine stains on the carpet with ammonia is not a good idea.

But, remember my first two questions?  When the name is a URL it is time to delete!

Final PSA: A spambot with a good point does not make it not a spambot!

 

Nodds & Nends: NASA’s 3-D Printing Contest, Dear Hank & John, and A Little Cat Nap

NASA had a challenge where they awarded the top three designs of a 3-D printable habitat for Mars. The habitat design that won is called the Mars Ice House and was the brain child of Team Space Exploration Architecture and Clouds Architecture Office. You can read more about it here.

How do I know about this random Mars fact? Hank Green is how. I’ve been listening to the Dear Hank & John podcast. John Green is an author of some note.  (I have yet to read his books, they are all sad books from what I’ve heard, and I don’t generally read sad contemporary stories, mostly because that is just normal life. But I’ve heard great things and know I really should get out his stories. ) Anyway, I’ve watched some of his YouTube videos and when I found the podcast that he does with his brother,  I started listening to it. It is hilarious and sometimes a little sad. Hank is a huge science nerd and he has done little snippets about Mars at the end their most recent podcasts and that is how I heard about the printable habitat challenge. It’s just one cool thing after another in my life.

One recent Facebook find (and sorry, I can’t remember who originally posted it on my wall) is this illustrative take on what it is like to be inside the brain of an introvert. Introverts have given it several thumbs up and I think it can help extroverts understand the other side of things.  My favorite one was the bit on risk. “In other words, introverts feel less excitement from surprise or risk.” Yes. This. Also, this may help explain why people sometimes think I am similar to a cat.

Speaking of cats, check out this hilarious and adorable video of a kitten falling asleep while in a not so great position for doing so. I think what is so funny is that we have all done this (maybe not on a kitchen bar stool). [via George Takei FB page]

Wednesday Hump Day is a Bad Bump Day

Woman using telephone, c. 1910. From postcard.

Wednesday morning I arrived at my office a little bit before 7:30 a.m. which is when I usually start work. I turned on the lights, started a cup of coffee in the Keurig machine, and hung up my coat on the hook on the back of my door. I check my coat pockets for my cell phone which is normally where I stash it as I walk through the garage into the building. It was not in my pockets. I checked my purse and my pants pocket no phone. Then I remembered that I left in it in the car.  I sighed and grabbed my jacket and headed back out into the cold and windy parking garage to retrieve my phone.

Soon I found myself texting my best friend Sara.

Me : Soooo, I locked myself out of my office suite when I ran back to my car for my forgotten phone and left my office keys behind.

Me: Today is going to be stellar.

Sara: Ugh!

Sara: Also, your text just woke me up eleven minutes before the first departmental meeting of the year.

Me: Yikes! Well, I got back into my office. Thankful for Security in the building. Hopefully your day gets better too!

I finally sat down at my desk, with a reheated cup of coffee, started up my computer, and bent down to plug my phone into the outlet. My phone cord was wrapped around the leg of my chair.  I started messing with the cord and the wheelies. The rolling wheels on my office chair are ruining my phone cord, it gets stuck that often.  I finally got the mess untangled, but as I sat up I hit my head on the underside of the desk hard enough to bring tears to my eyes.

Me: Nope. Just banged my head into my desk while adjusting my phone cord.

Sara: …… Maybe I should just stay in bed…..

Me: …. I’m just saying….

I rubbed my stinging forehead and went to the bathroom to check it out. Yup a fair sized bump and bruise was forming. This morning was not stellar. I went back to my desk with my cup of coffee cold again. I dumped it out and debated if I wanted to go through the trouble of making another cup. My phone beeped.

Sara: I just put my cami and sweater on backwards.

Me: . . . definitely should have stayed in bed

My Ankles are Getting Older

I often think of weird questions. When I ask my weird questions of most people they just sort of scratch at their heads, give it a little shake as though getting rid of the strange notion I’ve put there, and giggle as though I was trying to be funny. The only person who seems to take these questions seriously, if with a bit of humor as well, is my best friend Sara.

Nobody takes these things as seriously as I do except for her, so when I have a questions I realize might be a bit odd, I text her instead of some poor soul who will spend the rest of the day wondering what the heck had they just been asked.

One day I look down at my feet and they don’t look like mine anymore. I spend a few minutes puzzling over this, very upset that my ankles and feet look like someone else’s, before I decide to text Sara.

Me: So, trying to decide if my ankles are fatter, but think I’ve come to the conclusion they just look older.

I don’t even wait for her reply, I’m that distraught.

Me: Why didn’t anyone ever tell me even my ankles would start to look like they weren’t mine?

Sara: WHY IS ANKLES GETTING OLDER A THING? WHY!?

Me: EXACTLY! WHY!?

Me: Also, why did *my* brain decide to notice it? So not fair.

I’m pretty sure that Sara is the only one who would take ankles getting older seriously enough to engage in the conversation with me, not just look askance at her phone and ignore the questionable point I’m trying to make. I’m also aware how great of a friend she is as she did not ask me why I pointed out to her that ankles get older . I’m sure she would have been fine with never pondering that thought.

However, a long time ago I decided that if my brain has to suffer through these thoughts so should other people, but mostly Sara. It’s character building. You’re welcome.

Nodds & Nends: Jimmy Fallon as Jim Morrison, Top Television of 2015, and My Favorite New gif

I love Jimmy Fallon, I think he’s great! I know not everyone does, but for me Jimmy Fallon is someone who can make me laugh and feel better about life because of the joy of life that he brings to this world, and that is awesome. Here he is imitating Jim Morrison and singing Reading Rainbow. It’s nothing short of amazing.

Read Nerds of Color’s Top 15 Television Series of 2015 list. I may have to check out a couple of these I haven’t seen yet.

Favorite new gif.

I’m in love with this TARDIS Mini Satchel and Metal Charm Keychain Shoulder Handbag. GAH! Of course it is currently unavailable. Of course! [via Facebook]

Static Electricity and Kissing Patients

Tuesday, I finally went and got my eyes checked and my prescription renewed. This has been a long time coming. My only excuse is that moving twice in two years makes everything harder, especially keeping up with doctor’s appointments. I met the doctor who was a short guy with warm brown skin, dark hair, and an eye nerd of the first order. I mean huge eye nerd. He could not stop talking about how much he enjoyed what he did. Which is great!

I shook his hand in introduction and static electricity, that seems permanently stored in my body, zinged between us.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to zap you!” He said.

“It was probably me. ” I explained. “I seem to store static electricity somehow.”

“My 96 year old patient kissed me on the lips the other day, and I think both of us were charged with static, and I told him, ‘I think I saw sparks!'”

I really did not know how to respond to this. “…..Wow. Yah, that’s strange.” I ventured.

“Well, you know how it goes, sometimes they are going for the cheek and they get your lips.”

A reasonable explanation, but I still really do not understand this conversation, or what to say next. “I guess… that’s true.”

“Yah, kiddos, what can you do? My seven year old is not so affectionate any more, but my six year old is.” He explained.

Realization dawned. He said his kiddo kissed him on the lips, not his patient. That “you know how it goes” was really “you know kiddos.”

I knew I was about to laugh uncontrollably, but managed to blurt out, “Oh, you said your six year old kid. I thought you said your 96 year old patient and I was really confused why patients were kissing you!”

“Oh my! Yes, that would be strange.” He agreed.

I chuckled. “Maybe I need to see an ear doctor today as well!”

“I can look and see if there is one in this building.” He offered. He smiled, laughed, and continued, “This is probably the funniest conversation I’ve had all week!”

Daily Dose of D’awww

I mean this is hilarious. This cat wants to be in a breadbox.

Spam Mail Part 2

Last year I made my most spammed post a little less spamable. (Is that a word? The red line is telling me it isn’t a word, but it totally should be.) Since making the post less spamable I had to wait a while to build up a good amount of spam to make fun of. Then I forgot I was doing that and deleted a bunch of spam mail because gmail makes it so easy to just delete all the junk mail by shoving it into one folder and then having that select all box to click. Anyway between my forgetfulness and the easy deleting of spam mail, its been over a year and I think it’s high time to write another spam mail post.

I love making fun of horribly written spam mail and, as I know at least one person who believes everything she reads and can’t distinguish what is spam from proper email, I think it is education too. Maybe showing my thought process about why it is spam, will be like a PSA or something. Yah, this is my Spam PSA, someone get me a television show, I really need to tell the world how to delete Spam ! I promise. It’s not because I would love to be on TV or anything.

My first spam message is very important. . .

Ms Lisa Meditz IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO YOU– Good day, I am Ms Lisa Meditz, a US Citizen, Am 36 years old. I am one of….

Me: the robots. That’s right, you are one of the robots Ms Lisa Meditz. I am sorry to inform you of this. But your 36 years of life are a LIE.  Also, IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO YOU, using all caps to get my attention makes me feel like you are screaming at me for no reason except that you like to scream at people. Ms Lisa Medtiz, this is unacceptable. Please lower your goddamn robot voice. There are about a hundred more things I could make fun of with just a partial but totally grammatically incorrect sentence, however I’m out of time to spend on you Ms Lisa Meditz, so I will leave you with, Good day, Ma’am. I said, Good. Day.

P.S. I really like the name Lisa Meditz. I may have to use it in a story some day. So, thank you for that.

P.P.S. There are three people on Facebook with the name Lisa Meditz. Whaaaah?

I’m probably spending too much time on my spam mail if I find my self searching for specific names on Facebook, but it was an awesome revelation, I regret nothing.

Up next, some Good News!!!.

(unknown sender) Good News!!!– Attn: Beneficiary,After waiting and no response was heard, I deposited and also paid for the Delive

(unknown sender) Good News!!!– Attn: Beneficiary, After waiting and no response was heard, I deposited and also paid for the Delive

(unknown sender) Good News!!!– Attn: Beneficiary, I hope this email gets to you in good state of mind. After waiting and no response

Me: Oooh yay, three in a row from an unknown sender with good news and three exclamation marks. This is not suspicious at all. But wait for it… the best part is the guilt trip. You haven’t been waiting you spambot, you haven’t received a response because you are not a real person asking for a real thing. Don’t try to guilt trip me into thinking I forgot to do something. I grew up with constant guilt tripping, I can see it a mile away thankyouverymuch.

I take my issues out on spam mail. I think this is healthy.

The next spam deluge is almost deceptively normal looking, but I am not fooled.

Mr. Ali Shareef Emdi Hello Sir, QATAR PETROLEUM DEPARTMENT PO Box 3212Doha, Qatar shareef.emdi@minister.com

Mr. Ali Shareef Emdi Hello Sir, QATAR PETROLEUM DEPARTMENT PO Box 3212Doha, Qatar shareef.emdi@minister.com

Mr. E.H. Ali Shareef Emdi Hello Sir, QATAR PETROLEUM DEPARTMENT PO Box 3212, Doha, Qatar shareef.emdi@minister.com

Me. While I have a former co-worker whose name is Ali he knows I am not a sir.  Your first fail spambot. Furthermore, that is not his full name. I don’t remember what his last name is, but it’s not that. Also, pretty sure he’s not a minister unless something drastic happened in the last six months.

Hmmm, so according to Wikipedia (and we all know that is extremely reliable) Qatar Petroleum is a real company, third largest oil company supposedly. Am I supposed to know this because I live in Texas? Is that supposed to make me want to click on this email? I will say this, without a guilt trip going on you are looking like the nicest spambot, for what it is worth.

FYI, it is not worth much. It is worth nothing.

P.S. I know someone could saying using minister.com as an email is a form of manipulation and guilt tripping, but its almost at the end of the sentence and seems to be the least important part of the blurb.

P.P.S. Also, this makes the email more suspect, why would someone from an oil company have minister.com as their email address, because they wouldn’t. Put a little more effort into your spamming people.

This is my biggest complaint with spam mail, there is no effort to disguise it as anything else. Ugh. The next influx is no better.

UNCC Your Payment Notification (Urgent Update!!!)– Attention; NOTE:If you received this message in your SPAM/BU

UNCC Your Payment Compensation Notification!!! -Attention; NOTE:If you received this message in your SPAM/BU

Me: If I’ve received this message in my SPAM/BU[LLSHIT] folder, it’s because that is where this belongs. Good bye!

P.S. What is with the three exclamation marks again?

I don’t know why someone would make it soooo easy to just read SPAM/BULLSHIT. I mean, how is that not what they were going for?

Next up, Deal or No Deal. I’m going with the latter.

Info: Reply – Hello, My name is Capt. Lucas Alves from the US Army base here in Damascus, Syria. I have a Deal of

Me: Hello Capt. Lucas Alves, I have someone you should meet, Ms. Lisa Meditz. I think you two have a lot in common and make the best named spambot couple. You might want to use some protection though, I’m pretty sure you both are full of viruses.