So last night I had some unsettling dreams, which is saying something because I have unusual dreams all the time. Like the other night when I dreamed of an octopus in a steampunk glass box getting thrown out of said box onto a radiator, and the octopus began to dry up, but before I could save the octopus I woke up. Yah, unusual dreams. Last night I had a dream within a dream, which has happened before. I dreamed something bizarre which I don’t remember, but I remember thinking, ‘This is a dream.’ So I fell over in the dream and woke up in another dream. Evil mind. Evil mind! Because the “reality” I woke up into had my brother and two of his friends involved in a cult and they locked me in their church basement and I fell asleep (yes in the dream) and someone came in the front door and I woke up (still in the dream) screaming and throwing my fists in the air. The dude who came into the room yelled at me. Realizing all of this was totally not cool, I thought, ‘Why can’t I really wake up?’ So I was annoyed and unsettled. I understand that the phenomenon of know you are in a dream while existing in the dream is called a lucid dream and they are fairly unusual. But I have them all the time. However, unlike other people who have lucid dreams, when I have them I can’t fly. I’ve tried. I kept levitating off the ground but was unable to believe I could go through the ceiling, so I decided to walk out the door instead. Then I woke up. But I really really want to fly someday. In the mean time, the least my mind could do is wake up when I’m having a lucid horrible dream.
Eventually I did wake up from the weird dreams, at 4 o’clock a.m. After the dream in a dream in a dream dream, I had a dream that some glass balls were falling and breaking. I woke up to hear my ornaments falling to the ground and rolling all over the floor. My ornaments are hung on my french door with little suction cup things. As the night progresses and the heat in the apartment fluctuates the suction part becomes unsuctioned (I know that is not a word) and they fall off. So I dream something is falling and breaking and woke up to something falling, thankfully not breaking. I looked at the clock it is four in the morning. I turn over to go to sleep, but my tiny bladder, which I think must be the size of a pea pod (I think my body got the words pee and pea mixed up) was full. So I stumbled into the bathroom which while nice and toasty from the radiator switching on and felling Christmas ornaments, the seat was cold. So I woke up enough to realize that my thumb hurt like a mofo. I rubbed at it hoping it was localized pain I could spread over the rest of my hand. It was not. I sighed in defeat and turned on the light.
There was no helping it. My thumb had two distinct marks on it. I couldn’t tell if I had slept on it weird and it sprung back into place and hurt (I’m double jointed and sometimes wake up with wrists and fingers not quite aligned properly. I know it freaks me out too). Or maybe an offspring of Shelob find my thumb and thinking it a Hobbit attacked it. I looked at my thumb some more it kind of did look like a Hobbit. I compared one thumb to the other looking at the joints trying to decide at 4 a.m. if something was seriously wrong with my thumb or if my hobbit riddled, dream dream confused mind was inventing something. Have you ever stared at your thumbs for more than thirty seconds? Have you ever thoroughly inspected the joints of your thumbs? Don’t. Believe me. Especially not at 4 a.m. I decided something was decidedly wrong with both of my thumbs as they had morphed into these strange alien creatures on my hands. I know a three-year old who names her hands and has them crawl over my legs which become ropes and bridges in her mind, but I have never named my hands (that I can remember.) Maybe if I had they would have been friendly aliens. Instead I decided they needed to be numbed into submission. So I pulled ice out of my freezer. Luckily there were three of the tiniest ice cubes you have ever seen sitting there and I put them into a towel.
See? See! (pic of my actual thumb)
I spent the next twenty minutes icing my hobbits and hoping the pain would go away. Either it did or I numbed all the nerve endings because I was finally able to crawl back into bed twenty minutes before my alarm went off. This is all to say, that postings may or may not be up to par today. I did after all get a mere five hours of sleep. I decided to go into work later and on five hours of sleep instead of four. But mostly I think I deserve some understanding for having to sit here with alien hobbits and try to type.
New Girl debuted this fall on Fox and it is by far the funniest show on television of the television that I like. I laugh until I cry Every. Single. Episode. Basically New Girl is the story of Jess (Zoey Deschanel) who plays the part of a teacher who dumps her boyfriend and moves in with three guys she finds on Craigslist. She begins an awesome relationship with three guys who help her move on from her boyfriend (no not in that way), but showing her that it is OK to stand up to her ex and take back her big screen TV (very altruistic of them). Jess is a huge nerd. She makes geek references all the time, she sings her sentences, she tries to teach Hand Bells to a bunch of inner city kids because she thinks its cool.
The reason I love this show, even though some of Zoey Deschanel’s previous endeavors have been iffy, is that it is truly great comedy. I love that Jess is a nerd, but that is not all she is. I love that she has these great relationships, almost by accident. I love that they all help each other become better people, and grow, and put money in the douche-bag jar when someone is a big a-hole. I love that I laugh until I cry every single episode. My favorite new show this season (which of course means it wont last more than one season. Shush, forget I said that!) Justin Long guest stars in a couple of episodes as Jess’ new love interest and there is this HIGH-larious moment when they are getting ready to do the deed (yes, in that way) and decide to role play as Jimmy Stewart and Mae West (?). Honestly. Hearing Jimmy Stewart try to be sexy is by far the greatest thing I have ever heard in MY LIFE! As I sit here typing I am honestly cracking up all over again, tears, there are tears. I love this show!