Old Westerns and Half Naked Flying Part 3

After years and years of lucid and very vivid dreaming, I finally decided to try and figure out what my unconscious mind was trying to tell me and I looked into dream interpretation. It took a few tries, but I began to put some of the pieces together. Basically, our minds think in symbols. Some of these symbols are universal and some of them are specific to the individual. One researcher suggests that dreams are a reflection of our waking lives and given a number of dreams and years in which to study them, they reveal the character of an individual. Freud suggested that dreams are related to unfulfilled desires, and while some dreams may indeed be wishes played out in the unconscious, I don’t think this can explain every dream I’ve ever had.

My method of dream interpretation is to take the big symbols I’ve noted and look them up on dreammoods.com. I then order the symbols and the feelings and try to interpret the feeling toward the symbol. What I’ve found, for myself, over the years is that when I have a crazy run of dreams they usually are all symbols for a particular stressor in life. I’ve done some dream interpretation for friends as well, and once unraveled most people find their crazy dreams are rather innocuous and make a lot more sense when thought of as processing information through symbols. It also kind of takes the mystery out of my crazy dreams, which can be a bit of a downer as I find out my abnormally vivid dreams aren’t so abnormal after all.

I’ve never interpreted my “flying” dream which you can read here. But I’ve held onto the feeling of freedom long enough, and often it is easier to interpret a dream months or even years later. First I’ll parse out the major elements and actions of my dream and look them up on the website to figure out what the symbols stand for, sometimes this means picking from several meanings. I try to choose meanings that reflect the meanings of other symbols I’ve dreamt to create a cohesive picture.

Old Western Town

To dream that you are in the Wild West represents your resourcefulness and survival skills. Alternatively, the dream implies that you may be over-thinking a problem. Sometimes simplicity is the way to go. Being in the Wild West also indicates that you need to be more straightforward about your feelings, intentions or goals.

Dirt Road

Dreaming of a dirt or gravel road implies that the path toward your goals will take some effort and work. It may take perseverance and time before you see progress. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are paving the way.

Running

To dream that you are running away from someone indicates an issue that you are trying to avoid.

To dream that something or someone is running towards you refers to your willingness to confront any situation head on.

Men’s Shirt

To dream of a shirt refers to your emotions or some emotional situation.  The shirt you wear reveals your attitude and level of consciousness about a particular situation.

If you are a woman and dream that you are in a room full of men, then it highlights the masculine aspect of yourself. The dream forces you to acknowledge your authoritative and aggressive side.

Bullets aimed at me

To see a bullet or bullets in your dream indicate anger and aggression directed at you or someone else. You need to be cautious on what you say and do. Your actions and words may easily be misinterpreted. Alternatively, the dream may be telling you that you need to “bite the bullet” and accept some difficult situation.

Gun in my hand and shooting behind me

[A] gun is a symbol of power and pride. Perhaps you are looking for shelter or protection in your dream.

To dream that someone is shooting you with a gun suggests that you are experiencing some confrontation in your waking life.

Running on rooftops

To dream that you are on top of a roof symbolizes boundless success

Pushing people off the rooftop

• As I pushed away a version of myself, I will presume that this is a highly specific individualized symbol that I not only do not want to be that version of myself, but gleefully have gotten rid of her.

Jumping off of the roof

To dream that you are jumping indicates that you need to take a risk and go for it. You will overcome your obstacles and find progress toward your goals. . . . The way you feel in the dream will provide additional significance and meaning to your dream.

As mentioned earlier, at the time of this dream Chris and I were in the very beginnings of a relationship. We texted for a few months and had one phone conversation. I was very anxious about what it all meant, especially as we lived hundreds of miles away from each other and I had no indication from Chris that he was interested in anything more than friendship. Part of me wasn’t sure how to respond, whether I should give the relationship some time to develop or to push the issue. Shortly after the dream Chris called and told me he wanted to visit and I determined that would be when I would confront him about the status of our relationship. I decided that I would be more straightforward than I had been in past relationships, where I let the unknown status linger for far too long for my own piece of mind. I was determined to be different.

While Chris was the one who initiated the conversation, he asked a very neutral question and gave me room to express myself. Three days later he kissed me good-bye and we told each other we loved each other. It is now nearly two years later and I would say, even though I didn’t know it at the time, my dream was right. I needed to take a risk and go for it. I’m glad I did, I consider a wonderful life partner boundless success!

Old Westerns and Half Naked Flying Part 2

As I’ve mentioned a time or two, I have very interesting dreams. Often in the middle of my dream I realize I’m dreaming, sometimes this helps me wake up, other times I just stand in the doorway of a beautiful house staring at a murdered family and sigh, looking around and think, ‘Great another murder mystery dream, at least this one has a beautiful setting, minus the dead and bloody bodies.’

This type of awareness in a dream that one is said dream is called lucid dreaming. Someone in a lucid dream has more of a say in the dream, and can, with practice, exert some measure of control. Lucid dreams are very very vivid and realistic. Some research suggests that lucid dreaming has a hereditary component. And that only a very small percentage of the population has lucid dreams on a regular basis. Some people believe this is more a state of brief wakefulness than actual dreaming, but I wonder if the skeptics actually have lucid dreams or not. Because I know what it’s like to have a dream turn into a day dream as I wake up, and that is nothing like my lucid dreaming.

From my own anecdotal research, I’ve found that very few people have lucid dreams, and if they do it is once or twice in their life time. These people then start to fly when they realize they are dreaming.  This intrigued me, so I decided I was going to fly in my next lucid dream. But so far I have failed to do so. Gravity still works in my dreams, and roofs cannot be flown through. But my attempts to exert control in my dream lead to a great revelation. Since I am in a dream I can just walk away from work or the horrible thing that is happening without consequences. Now, I open doors or crawl through windows and get away. Usually this just leads into another bizarre dream. But it is helpful.

I have so many lucid dreams I stopped trying to fly and just tried to change them instead. Then one evening, about two years ago, when Chris and I first stared talking on the phone I found out he had lucid dreams all the time too. This was so exciting. I had never met someone in person who also continuously has lucid dreams. He controls people in his dreams by shooting them…. I decided that was not my style even if I have had to use a gun or two in a dream. It did remind me of that long ago desire to try flying and I was determined to keep on trying in my lucid dreams until I succeeded.

Lo and behold I find myself in a Western half dressed and getting shot at. Two big clues I was in a dream, then the dream turns into a lucid dream once I clue in. (You can read the whole dream here.) I was able to change my dream, kill a version of myself floating around in my unconscious, and have a moment of pure freedom. But I still have never been able to fly in a dream. It remains a hope of mine that one day gravity and worries will not weigh me down and that I will be able to soar into the sky and actually fly.

Old Westerns and Half Naked Flying Part 1

By Carli, C. H., Jr. — Photographer [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

I’m flying down the hard packed dirt floor, my feet barely making foot prints as the dust flies up behind me. The dust flying is not just due to my bare feet, but also the bullets. They are whizzing around me left and right, my own gun, of not unsubstantial weight, in my hand as I twist my torso, shooting behind me at my assailant. My hair flies out, floating around me as I turn, and the large men’s white button down shirt flaps around my thighs.

I look down for a second, but only a second, as I’m still running down the road past saloons and old timey tea shops, the bullets hitting close to my feet and flying past my face. The only time I’ve ever left the house without pants was during a fire alarm at college when I grabbed my blanket off my bed and ran outside on a cold November night. I stood in the cold shivering as the firemen came to assess the smoke filled lobby where someone had burnt a bag of popcorn. Wondering why I was so cold I jumped around a bit to warm myself up and realized my bare legs were rubbing against the blanket and not my pajama bottoms. But other than that I always leave the house with pants on. Then it clicks, I am dreaming and know I am dreaming.

Here is my chance to fly.

I drop my gun and jump up while running, hoping to take off flying like so many other people explained doing in their lucid dreams. But I just can’t take off, gravity keeps pulling me back to the dirt floor, the bullets still whizzing by (though I am no longer afraid of them hitting their mark.) Then, as dreams do, I am suddenly running on the tops of the buildings instead of next to them. I jump from building to building, soaring from one to the next.

Which gives me an idea.

I begin to run to the end of the building as fast as I can, determined to fly. As I run I pass a woman who looks eerily like myself, this version is dressed as a Plain Woman, pale green conservative dress with a head covering coming to her ears. She is in my way. But this is a dream, so I gleefully push her away from me, knowing with certainty she falls off the edge of building. That version of myself dies. I come to the end of the building and push off from the rough concrete ledge with my big toe, scraping against the roughness like the many times I jumped from the edge of a pool before diving in to the water.

And I leap, arms spread wide, the tails of the overly large white shirt flapping around me. A moment of pure freedom. Joy blossoming inside of me, and a huge grin spreads across my face. But then, I begin to fall, and fall, and fall. I hope this is a dream, I think. I hope, I hope, I hope. But I just keep falling. Wake up, Wake up, WAKE UP! I scream inside my mind, pulling it from falling down, pulling it up and up and up until I’m sitting up, awake, and breathing heavily, as though I just run a race. I lay my head back down among the pillows.

I may not have flown, but that pure moment of absolute freedom from thought, pain, gravity, replays in my head over and over. I smile.

 

Cigarette Zombies

Razor sharp teeth, mouth agape, lips stretched wider than a human’s mouth should go, a monster that was once a man rushed past me. I threw my arm out and caught the child by my side, pushing us up against the wall hoping the oncoming swarm would pass by and leave us alone.

It all started earlier while I was stocking shelves. The last of summer’s water toys were going up for clearance, the bright colors out of place next to all the decorations for Halloween. Holidays arrived earlier every year. My co-worker next to me was peeved, “I just don’t understand.” He mumbled.

“CVS and Walgreens merged, they are now one company.” I explained again. “We have to get inventory ready for the merger now that we work for Walgreens.”

“I can’t believe we work for Walgreens. I just don’t understand.” She mumbled again.

I noticed a wiry man with long stringy graying hair shuffle pass me, looking around out of the corner of his eyes. Checking to see if any of us employees noticed him. Suspicious behavior requires excellent customer service, so I went over to him and offered to help him find something. My co-worker peeked around the corner to see where I had gone, his brown bangs swinging in his face, hiding his eyes. The customer didn’t need my help and shambled away from me. “Surprisingly”, I found work to do near him, watching for more suspicious behavior.

He was looking at cartoons of cigarettes which for some reason had been temporarily moved because of the merger and were no longer locked up or put out of reach. He piled his arms full of them and headed toward the checkout counter. I kept “fixing” the items on a shelf watching to see what he would do. Suddenly he darted toward the automatic sliding doors and ran outside with his stolen loot. Fast on his heels was a old woman, her arms also full of stolen cigarettes.

I stood up from where I was shelving lotions, and watched as the man and woman flung cigarettes into the air, liberating them for the masses. Quicker than I would have dreamed possible, hordes of tobacco starved people began to pile onto the street grabbing at the falling cigarettes. I caught movement in my right peripheral and saw a gaping mouth, spread too wide, full of inhuman teeth running toward me and realized I was in the way of the zombie and his cigarettes.

I reached out for my co-worker and pulled her back against the wall next to me, hoping that we would not be bitten by such horrific teeth. His mouth loomed closer and closer. Something wasn’t right. How was the child next to me also a man and a woman? Why would  a cigarette zombie even exists?

I woke with a start and rolled over pushing my face into the pillow. Ugh, zombie interrupted sleep. Again.

Picture by Chris who also suggested the ending, and wants credit for it.

Kenneth Branagh and Double Entendres

I often have weird very vivid dreams. I used to keep a dream diary until it got to be too much work to write down every dream and figure out its meaning. But occasionally I’ll talk about the really strange ones, like the time I ate my fingers because they where Cheetos, or ones that had people in them who will think it is funny, like the following.

Me: OH MY GOD?! I had the weirdest dream about us!!!

Sara: You? What? I’m shocked. SHOCKED, I SAY!

See how incredibly unhelpful some people can be when you’ve told them every strange dream you’ve ever had?

Me: 😛

I maybe also stuck my tongue out at the computer. I’m actually a very mature person, though you wouldn’t know it from my conversations with Sara. (And no, I’m not making a double entendre regarding my boobs). Internets people, I was in court today and spoke before a judge and all, even got my motion granted. So…. very mature. (Did you know that the legal profession still uses carbon copies? Yes, we do. Not only am I mature, but I am not part of an elite group of stodgy old-fashioned people.)

Sara: O:-)

Me: Uh, huh. It had boys in it …..

Sara: Do share!

Me: For both of us.

Sara: What?? No way!

Sara recently started hanging out with a boy and we have an inside joke that we can’t ever seem to be in a relationship at the same time as each other. It cosmically upsets the universe or something. 

Me: The dream had your boy in it, but I couldn’t remember his name. He introduced himself to my mother as Henry Trynwayny.

Sara: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: Immediately after that I turned to you and said, “Wait is his name Brad?” You went, “I don’t remember his name either! No, I think it’s Jason.” I said, “Let’s just call him Tyranny.”

Sara: What?

Me: I know, right? And that wasn’t a typo on my part, I really said Tyranny.

Sara: omg

I decided to look up what this might mean because this was the pivotal point to the dream. Unfortunately, the word is not defined by my dream dictionary online. Dang it! However, tyranny is defined as, “Extreme harshness or severity; rigor. . . . .” Maybe this one is a double entendre?

Me: My mom overheard us talking and told us, “He said his name was Henry!” Then when I woke up I thought, ‘His name is not Henry, I just keep thinking it is. But it is from Henry V. Oh right, Kenneth Branagh. His name is Kenny!

Sara:  ::headdesk::

Dreams, Quotes, and Skeletons with Loinclothes

I stumbled across an interesting quote the other day while working on an art project/ birthday present for my sister. Who told me she got my package, but never said she liked my art work. Thanks a lot Megan! I wish my birthday was in June maybe I would get some cool art work as presents instead of, “Oh, do you mind if this is both your birthday and Christmas present?”

A two-fer. Yay?

Yes I mind, I mind very much, but thanks anyway.

Where was I? Oh right, the quote. So I stumbled up on this quote, and it made me sit up a little straighter and think a little harder. (I tend to over analyze things.)

Dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you. – Marsha Norman

I have some of the most unusual dreams I’ve ever heard recounted. I’m not even kidding. What’s more, I remember nearly every dream that I have, which happens frequently. Like last night for example when my downstairs neighbor came popping into my apartment sans invitation to determine if I had hot water or not. While trying to usher her back out (note in real life my downstairs neighbor is a man, who plays the keyboard without head phones, and even more tragically, SINGS) I was also trying to get my sisters to stop organizing my Barbies in my secret closet under the attic (note I own neither Barbies nor do I have an attic).

How do all these  dolls have sexier little black dresses than I do?

The strangest dream by far I had was when I dreamed that a young girl with blond ringlets and a pink party dress was standing in the middle of the gravel road screaming her head off. I was in the middle of changing a flat tire in pitch black while using my cell phone as a light when I heard her. I turned my head to the left to see what was wrong and she decided at that moment to split in half down the middle of her face and body falling into paint gloops onto the road. Out of her now disintegrated body stepped the skeleton of an old man, with star light bones lit and glowing and a loincloth around his hip bones. His lower jaw hinged open and he spoke to me, “It’s opposite day, the pound cake becomes a wedding cake.” And he walked away.

See the full sketch from artist Adam by clicking the picture.

So I was thinking of all the really weird dreams that I have and this quote when I drift off to sleep one night. And of course, I had a strange dream. Very young adult dystopian in nature. I have these kind of dreams a lot. Maybe I’ll write them all down one day and write a book. Often they are cross pollinated by books I’ve read and this dream is no exception, but there are dreams where I truly have no idea how my brain came up with them. Like the day I ate my cheetoh fingers. Anyway. As I was saying, I dreamt yet another strange dream while napping from a long day and an even longer week. Two jobs will do that to you.

I was a little girl in a blue gingham dress and all the children in my dream were being rounded up for some Bad Reason. We were all in some huge facility, and I knew where they were taking us next was not a good place.  In order to get out I had to find hidden messages in weird places. I had some sort of device put in my wrist that allowed me access to certain places when I scanned it. I gleefully entered a public bathroom and found a hidden message. In an ironing board. In a public bathroom. You heard me.

I was attempting to add the knowledge I knew to the hidden message (since we were all trying to help each other get out of the facility) when a guard entered the room. I slid into a stall, climbed up on the tank which went to the top of the stall. I pulled my feet up and waited, barely breathing. At this point, as happens in many of my dreams, my vision blurred and my range of seeing shrunk. But I was determined to not get caught, so I carefully felt around to position myself to not be seen. The security guard was talking to someone outside, who was trying to bribe him. But like all good bad guys the guard could not be bribed to save the life of a child.

The security guard came in to the bathroom, but I never saw who he had been talking to. I was hiding after all. He began checking every stall, starting with the one furthermost from me.  I was sure I was going to be found out especially when he opened the stall right next to mine. I was terrified he was gong to come to me next and drag me away, but instead he found another runaway. A little boy who stared at me in horror as he was pulled from the bathroom by the guard.

Suddenly I was standing in a slum area in front of a door, two girls were sitting in the door way. One, who looked like Dianna Agron on drugs,  said, “How is a dead b—- standing here?” The other girl who Dianna was slumped against shut her up with a firm hand across her mouth. The other girl and I had a look of understanding pass between us. I leaned forward and said harshly,” I have information to trade for an artifact.” Then I thought, wait how did I get away and end up here, I need to go backwards in the dream and found out.

I woke up.

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. You don’t know what you’re talking. (I hope.)

I’m hoping Marsha Norman is wrong because, otherwise I have a very very scary soul drawing some horribly fantastical illustrations.

Last Night’s Horrors

So last night I had some unsettling dreams, which is saying something because I have unusual dreams all the time. Like the other night when I dreamed of an octopus in a steampunk glass box getting thrown out of said box onto a radiator, and the octopus began to dry up, but before I could save the octopus I woke up. Yah, unusual dreams. Last night I had a dream within a dream, which has happened before. I dreamed something bizarre which I don’t remember, but I remember thinking, ‘This is a dream.’ So I fell over in the dream and woke up in another dream. Evil mind. Evil mind! Because the “reality” I woke up into had my brother and two of his friends involved in a cult and they locked me in their church basement and I fell asleep (yes in the dream) and someone came in the front door and I woke up (still in the dream) screaming and throwing my fists in the air. The dude who came into the room yelled at me. Realizing all of this was totally not cool, I thought, ‘Why can’t I really wake up?’ So I was annoyed and unsettled. I understand that the phenomenon of know you are in a dream while existing in the dream is called a lucid dream and they are fairly unusual. But I have them all the time. However, unlike other people who have lucid dreams, when I have them I can’t fly. I’ve tried. I kept levitating off the ground but was unable to believe I could go through the ceiling, so I decided to walk out the door instead. Then I woke up. But I really really want to fly someday. In the mean time, the least my mind could do is wake up when I’m having a lucid horrible dream.

Eventually I did wake up from the weird dreams, at 4 o’clock a.m. After the dream in a dream in a dream dream, I had a dream that some glass balls were falling and breaking. I woke up to hear my ornaments falling to the ground and rolling all over the floor. My ornaments are hung on my french door with little suction cup things. As the night progresses and the heat in the apartment fluctuates the suction part becomes unsuctioned (I know that is not a word) and they fall off. So I dream something is falling and breaking and woke up to something falling, thankfully not breaking. I looked at the clock it is four in the morning. I turn over to go to sleep, but my tiny bladder, which I think must be the size of a pea pod (I think my body got the words pee and pea mixed up) was full. So I stumbled into the bathroom which while nice and toasty from the radiator switching on and felling Christmas ornaments, the seat was cold. So I woke up enough to realize that my thumb hurt like a mofo. I rubbed at it hoping it was localized pain I could spread over the rest of my hand. It was not. I sighed in defeat and turned on the light.

There was no helping it. My thumb had two distinct marks on it. I couldn’t tell if I had slept on it weird and it sprung back into place and hurt (I’m double jointed and sometimes wake up with wrists and fingers not quite aligned properly. I know it freaks me out too). Or maybe an offspring of Shelob find my thumb and thinking it a Hobbit attacked it. I looked at my thumb some more it kind of did look like a Hobbit. I compared one thumb to the other looking at the joints trying to decide at 4 a.m. if something was seriously wrong with my thumb or if my hobbit riddled, dream dream confused mind was inventing something. Have you ever stared at your thumbs for more than thirty seconds? Have you ever thoroughly inspected  the joints of  your thumbs? Don’t. Believe me. Especially not at 4 a.m. I decided something was decidedly wrong with both of my thumbs as they had morphed into these strange alien creatures on my hands. I know a three-year old who names her hands and has them crawl over my  legs which become ropes and bridges in her mind, but I have never named my hands (that I can remember.) Maybe if I had they would have been friendly aliens. Instead I decided they needed to be numbed into submission. So I pulled ice out of my freezer. Luckily there were three of the tiniest ice cubes you have ever seen sitting there and I put them into a towel.

See? See! (pic of my actual thumb)

I spent the next twenty minutes icing my hobbits and hoping the pain would go away. Either it did or I numbed all the nerve endings because I was finally able to crawl back into bed twenty minutes before my alarm went off. This is all to say, that postings may or may not be up to par today. I did after all get a mere five hours of sleep. I decided to go into work later and on five hours of sleep instead of four. But mostly I think I deserve some understanding for having to sit here with alien hobbits and try to type.